The Lonely, Drifting Clouds

 

How  happy I was  to see a call from my  dearest friend Vishakha ...but now I was sad and distraught ! ... wanting to disbelieve what I had just heard !! ...Today I had called  Vishakha to find out how her visit to Chennai to her son's place had been, but now almost wished that i shouldn't have !   The first sound I had heard from the other side had been a muffled sob,  unnerved I asked what was wrong ?...her emotion - laden voice punctuated  with sobs weaved her anguish in the story as she  echoed it out ...,

Initially, all had been  well when they reached Aakash's ,their sons place in Chennai- a  big plush luxurious bungalow, with manicured garden - a dream house. As they settled down during the weekdays expectedly Aakash was super busy being a CEO. So Vishal and Vishaka relaxed and liked it too. Neelam, their Daughter in law (DIL)also kept herself busy in her social set up. Aakash and Neelam would return together at Dinner time ,whereas Atharva,their grandson, after his day Boarding school would straight go to tutions and then for his tennis classes, only to return at seven in the evening!  Each night  Aakash and Neelam would come to their room before going to sleep to  ask how the day had been and had servants taken good care care of them to which the  standard reply of theirs was that the day had been good  ! The conversation never went further than a little chit chat. This same  routine elastically continued even on weekends, As the week turned into a fortnight, Vishal and Vishakha started to get listless and despondent, with nowhere to go and no one to talk to ...!!!  Nevertheless Vishaka adviced restraint and patience to Vishal. Finally, they decided to  talk to  Aakash that they would like to leave and had  booked their tickets for the coming weekend, secretly expecting that probably he would stop them or start spending time with them.To their shock, He agreed.; Nothing changed !!

As luck would have it, the same afternoon Vishakha slipped  and fell in the washroom. All hell broke loose, Aakash's  phone was unreachable so they left a message with the secretary. As the situation couldn't wait so Vishal first googled the number of nearby hospital to call up an ambulance and rushed Vishakha to the hospital. On the way Vishal tried calling Neelam but without response. At Hospital, the doctors took the X - Rays to check the injuries and damage  which turned out to be ankle fracture requiring a little emergency surgery . It was evening when Aakash called up to ask about the whereabouts of the hospital and that he was on his way !! Aakash arrived, talked to the Doctor and informed Vishal that there was nothing to worry and he would stay till all procedures were over..after which he went away. Vishakha stayed in Hospital for 5 days during which Aakash  called up  every day to ask if all was ok and  if any help was required. Vishakha restrained Vishal from explodingat this demeaning attitude of Aakash. It wasn't the same Aakash, their very own son behaving so with his parents ...!! On the discharge day  Aakash did the unthinkable he called up to ask if he should book a taxi or send the car ... Vishal was so cut up that he sharply replied that everything would be taken care of and  Aakash could get on with his office ! 

We reached home, Neelam was there to receive them which somewhat gave them a glimmer of hope ... But the very next morning they were informed  that a paid caretaker had been hired for Vishaka who would help them in any which way, and son and Daughter in law got  busy in their usual routine. Emotionally drained and physically tired  Vishakha just focussed on getting on to her feet .. shutting everything out ! Aakash would visit their room in the evening as before, to ask how her leg was  ? Was the caretaker taking good care?  Both had no choice but too bide their time in this contrived unsettling environment. As soon as Vishakha was able to walk a little, Vishal booked the tickets and informed Aakash about to their  travel plan to Kolkata. Aakash mechanically asked what  was the hurry ? they could stay more ! Vishal with a straight face said  they didn't want to stay more  as  he felt they were disturbing Aakash's time and home. Aakash denied it wasn't do but Vishal countered why then  nobody had the time or inclination to sit, talk  and share  or personally take care  of them ! Vishal,'s outburst didn't affect but Aakash asked them what was wrong? when none of them responded, Aakash angrily had charged them that they had never understood his pressures?and  what was wrong if he was busy ? he had tried helping them in all ways possible as much as he could ?.. all support  was there - cooked meals ,washed clothes, a garden to stroll in, TV in the  room and servants for any other work ...what more did they want ?  Then Vishal exasperatedly said it was Aakash's time and attention  which they hankered for !!  

It was this juncture that Vishakha had sobbed inconsolably, recounting ...How Aakash's In an  unperturbed,  nonchalant  had counter-questioned  why was it such a big deal, when they as parents  had never spent time with him in his formative years ? They had always been busy with their responsibilities, chores... leaving him alone ! Whenever he had wanted to buy copies or any stationary how Vishal would give him money  to go alone and buy it from the nearby shop ! At 8 yrs of age how they had wanted him to grow up and be old enough to manage his  little needs ! Even while doing his assignments whenever he asked help from Vishal as his father he was instructed to do it himself, forced to understand and learn himself, struggling through difficulties alone ... being big enough ! even being sent alone for college admission...for everything he was trudging,struggling, fighting alone  ! His grouse being that no parent would do as  Vishal and Vishakha had  done - always missing  whenever he needed them!!   

They were dumbstruck  as if experiencing the scariest hallucination ...  Vishakha had been utterly heartbroken while narrating this !!! Taking the story forward ....

' Then Vishal countered Aakash   defensively that  that wasn't the intent and the objective had  always been to make Aakash  independent, confident and successful ! Aakash retorted so now  he was all three but then, in his childhood, he had been pushed into a void...an abyss  to fend for himself !! Wasn't it wrong, for them as his parents, to push a little child  into  testing  situations all alone  !!...and how  helpless he had felt then !!!...  Saying so Akash had  walked out leaving them weak  in the knees, with shock ...that night Aakash had a flight to catch...He flew away and They left for Kolkata '

Over the phone, Vishakha in a trembling voice had asked me where had they  faulted ? How could Aakash so misread their intent ? which  could never  ever have been in their wildest dreams  as  was the present outcome...a hopeless situation it was for both of them in their old age !!!

Being a friend I  advised  her to take rest  and  that soon I would visit her to discuss. As a precaution, I messaged Vishal to be with her.

Presently, forced to think and analyse I realised ... how often, we as adults in different roles are bad role models. The simple  responsible fact being that  most of us are not congruent in what we think, say and do. Generally often live life unilaterally, mechanically, unconsciously, without realizing that the children are always watching and drawing their own conclusions as per their understanding of life at THEIR GIVEN AGE...!! Both - Parents and Children - are in angst and lonely when they require support most !! How ironical that both are so so integral to each other's existence and yet slowly grow so distant ...??

I remembered my maternal Grand Mother's words that  ' each child needed paalnaa posna" that is inclusive and composite nurturing... probably as parents we are forgetting the 'posna' giving cocoon-warmth while raising our  children...

❤️Happy Paalna-Posnaa to all...and for all 💞